Jewish World Review Jan. 19, 2007 / 29 Teves, 5767
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Beverly Hills and Malibu got snowfall for the first time in forty-five years Wednesday. Celebrities ran out on their front lawns when they heard snow was falling out of the sky. The War on Drugs isn't going any better than the War in Iraq.
The Chicago Bears host New Orleans for the NFC title on Sunday. Weather will be a factor. Thanks to sub-freezing conditions on the West Coast, viewers must choose between making a house payment and having avocado dip for the football game.
London was selected Monday to hold the first NFL regular season game outside North America this fall. Pro football games are exciting in London. Whenever the announcer says the blitz is coming, all the senior citizens run down to the basement.
John Edwards last week took the lead in a poll of Iowa caucus voters in his uphill battle for the Democratic presidential nomination. He is wealthy, he is white, he's male and he is Southern. Democrats had more sympathy for Saddam Hussein.
House Speaker Nancy Pelosi appointed a special committee Wednesday to author legislation to fight global warming. She's overestimating her support. She saw the USA Today weather map that morning and thought there are forty-nine blue states.
Hillary Clinton addressed reporters Wednesday and said it's time to tell the government of Iraq to get serious. She gave the Iraqi government her favorite ultimatum. Either stop fooling around or they will have to help her become president.
Donald Trump preened for the news cameras on Hollywood Boulevard Monday when he received his own star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Any celebrity can get a star there for fifteen thousand dollars. His is right next to Lee Harvey Oswald's.
Angelina Jolie moved into a mansion in New Orleans with Brad Pitt where they say they will be very involved locally. The actress is nothing if not meticulous. Whenever Angelina Jolie orders in Chinese she's very careful to specify boy or girl.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2007, Argus Hamilton