Jewish World Review Jan. 18, 2007 / 28 Teves, 5767
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Twenty-Four starring Kiefer Sutherland premiered with a terrifying season-opening episode on Fox Sunday. It had Muslim terrorists exploding a nuclear bomb in Los Angeles. The episode won the Golden Globe for Best Pretext for the Invasion of Iran.
Barack Obama released an Internet video Tuesday announcing he will run for president. He's very shrewd. His middle name is Hussein and he wanted to make the announcement while the hanging videos were still the hottest search on the Internet.
Hillary Clinton canceled her Capitol Hill news briefing Tuesday after Barack Obama announced his candidacy for the White House. He wasn't a factor in her plans when she first decided to run for president. She hadn't even heard of Obama in 1992.
The White House Correspondents Dinner played it safe Monday and chose less edgy comedian Rich Little to perform this year. It should be a hilarious show. President Bush has promised to show Rich Little how to improve his Nixon impression.
California suffered the loss of seventy-five percent of its citrus crop this week due to record low morning temperatures. The grapefruit and lemon and lime groves were devastated in Orange County. O.J. was safe in Florida, you can't kill him.
Miss New Jersey USA said she's pregnant Monday, after Miss Nevada USA resigned over nude photos. Miss USA just got out of coke rehab. Miss Congeniality won her title with her presentation on how to tell undercover vice cops from the real Johns.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2007, Argus Hamilton