Jewish World Review Jan. 17, 2007 / 27 Teves, 5767
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Warren Beatty got a lifetime achievement award at the Golden Globes Monday. He's played Clyde Barrow, Bugsy Siegel, a hairdresser and a communist revolutionary. The only thing keeping Warren Beatty from the Democratic nomination is a scheduling conflict.
Arnold Schwarzenegger arrived at the Golden Globe Awards on crutches Monday to present the award for Best Motion Picture Drama. He wasn't the only person in the room who couldn't stand up unassisted. This is the only awards show with an open bar.
New York Giant Michael Strahan had to pay his ex-wife fifteen million dollars Monday to settle their divorce. It was in keeping with their pre-nup in case he cheated. He's so mad he is writing a book for HarperCollins called Suppose I Do It.
Greenpeace accused Apple Computer on Tuesday of using un-recyclable toxins even though Al Gore is on the company board. Al Gore insisted that Apple's products are safe. He said there's nothing in those computers that he doesn't have in his own body.
Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid said Monday the Senate will start working five days a week instead of three. It will help keep Democrats in Washington. If comedians don't perform every single day they lose their edge and wind up in Branson.
Senator Joe Biden was in South Carolina Monday and blasted the Rebel flag at the Capitol. Here we go again. The presidential election is two years away and already Democrats are working tirelessly to reassemble the Mondale Coalition.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2007, Argus Hamilton