Jewish World Review Jan. 16, 2007 / 26 Teves, 5767
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
The Weather Channel blamed the nationwide cold snap Sunday on the jet stream coming down from Canada. It was good news for the Pentagon. At a time when they're desperate for more troops, six thousand draft dodgers just blew in from Saskatchewan.
California suffered a hard freeze Sunday that ruined many orange crops. Liza Minnelli was hit hard. She was able to survive three-dollar-a-gallon gasoline but the prospect of ten-dollar screwdrivers has her considering breakfast alternatives.
Iran demanded that the U.S. release five Iranians picked up in a house-to-house search inside Iraq. They may have been nabbed by NFL scouts. Al Davis has first pick in the draft and he is determined to re-capture the spirit of the original Oakland Raiders.
Arnold Schwarzenegger was at the Golden Globes Monday to give away the award for Best Motion Picture Drama. He's no newcomer to the winner's circle himself. The Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas once voted him most lifelike over Al Gore.
Senator Hillary Clinton traveled to the Middle East over the weekend and met with the leaders of Iraq and Pakistan and Afghanistan. It was a piece of cake for her. She has thirty years' experience manipulating polygamists to advance her career.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2007, Argus Hamilton