Jewish World Review Jan. 5, 2007 / 15 Teves, 5767
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
The Coney Island Polar Bear Club hosted its annual New Year's Day swim in the frigid waters off New York City Monday. It wasn't completely successful. Paris Hilton and Britney Spears came out of the water just as drunk as when they went in.
New Yorkers rang in the new year on Sunday with a million people celebrating together in Times Square. A new study says seventy percent of all working adults give something to a friend at a New Year's party. The good news is, it is treatable.
Saddam Hussein's hanging was shown on the Internet thanks to cell phone cameras at his execution. The lesson is clear. Admit you have weapons of mass destruction whether you have them or not, or you could replace Benny Goodman as the King of Swing.
Rudy Giuliani's secret plan to run for the White House was leaked to the New York Daily News on Tuesday. The plan is to do fifty fund-raisers in three months. That's how much it costs to keep two ex-wives and the city of New York from talking.
Democrats promised Tuesday to allow the sale of cheap prescription drugs from Canada. It's important to go with the flow. Last week a UPS truck full of Paxil coming down from the north slammed into a truckload of illegal aliens coming up from the south and resulted in two dozen Mexicans with a whole new outlook on life.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2007, Argus Hamilton