Jewish World Review Jan. 4, 2007 / 14 Teves, 5767
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Washington D.C. banned cigarette and cigar smoking in all nightclubs and bars beginning Tuesday. The city council is merciless. This ceaseless war on Marion Barry's way of life makes the Trojan War look like a smash and grab operation.
The Tournament of Roses Parade in Pasadena drew four hundred million viewers from all over the globe on Monday. It was eighty degrees and sunny in January. This was a reminder to the world that immorality and loose living come with a bonus.
The Iraqi government said Monday it would investigate to find out how a cell phone video recording of Saddam Hussein's execution made it onto the Internet. There's a simple explanation. Michael Richards wasn't onstage anywhere last weekend.
Louisiana was reported Monday by the American Geophysical Union to be sliding into the Gulf of Mexico. There was an immediate uproar. The mayor of New Orleans warned that if this happens, the city will lose its racial identity to the whitefish.
Nancy Pelosi today becomes the first woman to be House Speaker. She's having four days of fund-raisers to celebrate. She's charging donors so much to spend the evening with her that Heidi Fleiss is thinking of selling her a franchise.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2007, Argus Hamilton