Jewish World Review Jan. 3, 2007 / 13 Teves, 5767
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Jerry Ford was eulogized Tuesday as a brave and good president. In his second year in office, two women attempted to assassinate him. Bill Clinton would come along in twenty years and make this record look like a relic from the dead ball era.
The New York Post reported on Thursday that Hillary Clinton worked for Jerry Ford forty years ago as a GOP House intern. No one could foresee the future. Who would have believed that pardoning a president would be the thing that sealed both their fates?
Prince Harry was ordered Friday to go to Iraq with his military unit in May. He'll patrol the Iran border. He was once photographed in a Nazi uniform at a London costume party and the hope is that the Iranians will mistake him for a kindred soul.
The Food and Drug Administration approved an emergency treatment Thursday for cyanide poisoning. The antidote was recently introduced in Europe. It's been so successful in France that Russia had to go all the way to London to poison opponents.
The North Carolina Bar Association filed an ethics complaint against Durham District Attorney Mike Nifong. It accuses him of dishonesty, fraud, deceit and misrepresentation. If found guilty he could get the bar's lifetime achievement award.
Democrat John Edwards stood in the hurricane-ravaged ninth ward of New Orleans with a shovel in his hands Thursday and announced he's running for president. He promised an end to poverty and free health care for all. That explains the shovel.
Immigration Department agents last week arrested sixty illegal immigrants at a Swift and Co. plant in Colorado. The paperwork for the prisoners was daunting. They were each fingerprinted, photographed, flown to Los Angeles and registered to vote.
Arnold Schwarzenegger was photographed working from his hospital bed Thursday after breaking his leg skiing in Sun Valley. He must be sorry he went into politics. He never had this much trouble on the bunny slopes at Hugh Hefner's house.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2006, Argus Hamilton