Home
In this issue
December 2, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Defending the Right to a Jewish State

Heather Hale: Compliment your kids without giving them big heads

Megan Shauri: 10 ways you are ruining your own happiness

Carolyn Bigda: 8 Best Dividend Stocks for 2015

Kiplinger's Personal Finance editors: 7 Things You Didn't Know About Paying Off Student Loans

Samantha Olson: The Crucial Mistake 55% Of Parents Are Making At Their Baby's Bedtime

Densie Well, Ph.D., R.D. Open your eyes to yellow vegetables

The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon With its colorful cache of purples and oranges and reds, COLLARD GREEN SLAW is a marvelous mood booster --- not to mention just downright delish
April 18, 2014

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will

Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers

Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia

John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain

The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious

April 14, 2014

Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time

Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion

Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic

Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships

Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden

Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin

Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate

Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure

The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz!

April 11, 2014

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden

Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover

Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now

Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion

Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer

Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish

April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review Jan. 16, 2006 / 16 Teves, 5766

The fittest and the fattest

By Tom Purcell


Printer Friendly Version
Email this article

http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Men's Fitness magazine came out with its annual fitness report card. The editors determined that Chicago is America's fattest city, whereas Baltimore is the most fit.


What a bunch of bunk.


If you're not familiar with Men's Fitness, let me summarize: It's a magazine designed to turn men into selfish, self-absorbed, opportunistic twits.


Take the January issue. It promises readers "101 gut loss tips" and other ideas on how men can transform themselves into lean, mean, pretty-boy machines.


Fashion is a key concern. Designer John Varvatos explains how today's male can use clothing to express himself:


"The more you show us who you are, the cooler you are. We want our guy to be like, 'I really can wear that old leather jacket with this and really can mix it up.' I'm all about that."


I'm all about that, too. The night I mixed up my J.C. Penny polo shirt with my Sears Toughskins, I had more women approaching me than I could shake a stick at.


They offer important tips on women, too: how to create your own luck, how to master the third date, and how, in general, to become an irresistible little fuzz ball.


And there's this precious advice:


"Problem: ... Her dog's gotta go, but she's in the shower. Solution: Take him out for a (walk) so she can have the extra minutes to get ready."


Ah, modern romance. It used to be a subtle dance of the heart and soul. Now all a man has to do to achieve romantic togetherness is take Buster out for a stroll.


In any event, the twits at Men's Fitness now suggest they are gravely concerned about the obesity epidemic. They believe their annual fittest and fattest guide is making an impact:


"... You'll find a growing body of evidence that the causes of obesity are all around us, from limited recreational opportunities to air pollution, TV watching, zoning that allows too many (fast-food) drive-throughs, and an epidemic of less and less time to exercise. It proved to us that the Men's Fitness message is getting through."


And their message is getting through. If a fellow is obese, it's more likely the fault of government — and his lack of a Men's Fitness subscription — than an individual decision to chain-chomp Hostess Twinkies.


"If obesity is an epidemic — a public-health emergency — shouldn't we expect our city leaders to do something about it, such as require developers to build open spaces and trails (instead of jammed-in housing tracts and drive-through-laden strip malls) or create fitness- and health-education events?"


But of course.


In determining the fittest and fattest cities, then, the editors incorporated health legislation and other city programs into the calculations. And once their highly precise calculations were made, which city turned out to be the fittest in all of America?


Baltimore?


I've been to Baltimore. I had some of the world's thickest, greasiest tacos there. I had crabs dipped in butter, which I washed down with a heavy lager beer. I witnessed Ravens fans consuming almost as many nachos, fries and burgers as they did cheap bourbon.


I'm no expert on the subject — I can't apply precise formulas and calculations, as Men's Fitness has — but I've come up with a different take on Baltimore. Folks there may be the drunkest or the soberest. They could be the prettiest or the plainest. They could be the nastiest or the friendliest.


But I'll eat my six-pack abs if they are the fittest.


My hat goes off to the editors at Men's Fitness. They created a successful gimmick to generate buzz in the thick of winter. They use the buzz to attract more male subscribers. Their mission is to convert more men into shallow, self-absorbed, opportunistic twits so that they can sell more advertising and make more dough.


That's not to say some of their advice isn't sound. With Valentine's Day just around the corner, I intend to be as romantic as the next guy. All I have to do is take a girl's dog out for a walk.

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.

Comment on JWR Contributor Tom Purcell's column, by clicking here. To visit his web site, click here.


ARCHIVES

© 2005, Tom Purcell

Columnists

Toons

Lifestyles