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Jonathan Tobin: Defending the Right to a Jewish State

Heather Hale: Compliment your kids without giving them big heads

Megan Shauri: 10 ways you are ruining your own happiness

Carolyn Bigda: 8 Best Dividend Stocks for 2015

Kiplinger's Personal Finance editors: 7 Things You Didn't Know About Paying Off Student Loans

Samantha Olson: The Crucial Mistake 55% Of Parents Are Making At Their Baby's Bedtime

Densie Well, Ph.D., R.D. Open your eyes to yellow vegetables

The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon With its colorful cache of purples and oranges and reds, COLLARD GREEN SLAW is a marvelous mood booster --- not to mention just downright delish
April 18, 2014

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will

Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers

Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia

John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain

The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious

April 14, 2014

Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time

Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion

Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic

Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships

Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden

Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin

Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate

Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure

The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz!

April 11, 2014

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden

Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover

Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now

Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion

Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer

Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish

April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review Jan. 5, 2006 / 5 Teves, 5766

The cold truth about my holiday in Norway

By Garrison Keillor


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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | TROMSO, Norway – I began the new year as a sick man in a rather small space. It was a good solid cold, the sort of cold I usually catch just before a vacation – sore throat, stuffed head, racking cough – and the space was a middle seat, row 10, on a flight from Newark to Oslo, packed solid with Norwegians heading home.


You settle into a middle seat, your knees touching the seat in front, your arms snug between the armrests, like an egg in a carton, and you feel a twinge of panic. You think of small children trapped in caves, of Grandpa snug in his coffin. You think, I can't do this for six hours. No, no, no, no, no. And then you look at the people around you and you think, if they can do it, then I can, too. Their calm is calming to you, their stoicism cheers you up. We are a team back here in steerage, and for the sake of the team I will stick it out. And of course a sleeping pill helps. And an inflatable neck pillow. You doze off and awaken briefly east of Iceland, and then the wheels touch down in snowy Norway, a stand of pines slipping past in the pale morning light.


The Oslo airport is very bright and glassy. Even the cattle chute from plane to terminal has glass walls. A northern country appreciates light. And I am headed for a week's vacation in Tromso, 400 kilometers above the Arctic Circle, where there is no sunrise in January, only a pinkish twilight from about 10 a.m. to 2 p.m.


It's a good destination for a man who always gets sick on vacation. This is a form of Calvinism so deep-seated that it can shut down the immune system. The cold is the Calvinist's defense against the danger of pleasure. I've suffered wretched colds in Antigua, Barbados, Florida, Rome, and Hawaii, so why not take a vacation in a place where you have every right to be sick?


The sky became murky as the plane flew north – from Oslo to Tromso is like from Texas to Minnesota – and we landed in darkness. A bus took us over the mountain and into the city, its lights glittering around the bay, a big coastal ferry moored at the dock, headlights streaming over the long arched bridge, and drove us along narrow streets lined with brightly lit shops, to the hotel, where I lay in bed for an hour, looking at the ceiling, trying to figure out my problem with vacations.


I would like to think that it's the obligation to have fun I find depressing. I dislike parties for the same reason: They're a conspiracy to be festive at a certain hour, and I don't know how to do that, any more than I can laugh on cue. New Year's Eve parties are the worst – a celebration of the passage of time – and the few I've attended were next to hellish, a lot of hard drinking by loud people in enclosed places. Vacations have the same insistent urgency about them: Play golf or die. And then, too, there is the fact that I enjoy my work.


I had dinner with Tove and Curt, two fellow Minnesotans who live in Tromso, and sat in jet-lagged stupor as they talked about the goodness of life here. I was dozing over my torsk, barely able to speak in whole sentences, and they happily told me about the mildness of the climate (thanks to the Gulf Stream that sweeps up the coast of Norway), the loveliness of northern nature, the fishing and moose hunting, the social welfare system, the excellent linguistics program at the university, and the fact that seasonal affective disorder is no worse here than in places with sunlight, and I trudged back to the hotel and slept and had an excellent dream.


I was sitting under an umbrella by an enormous swimming pool. My daughter was swimming laps, wearing a bright orange swim cap. My wife sat nearby, reading a novel and laughing out loud. I had a pad of paper on my lap and was working. This went on for some time. In the dream, I kept working and working and working, and there didn't seem to be an end to it. But all around me, under their own umbrellas, were other men working, and as long as they could do it, I figured I could do it, too.

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© 2006 by Garrison Keillor. All rights reserved. Distributed by Tribune Media Services, INC.

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