Jewish World Review Jan. 5, 2006 / 5 Teves, 5766
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Wal-Mart on Monday reported a gain of barely two percent
over last year's December sales. The retailer is here to stay.
Sixty percent of consumers say they think Wal-Mart is bad for
America, the other forty percent don't want to bad-mouth the boss.
Bolivia on Tuesday inaugurated as its new president coca
farmer Evo Morales, who's vowed to legalize coca production for
medicinal purposes. Its medical use is well-known. Los Angeles
plastic surgeons use the drug to solicit new clients on the dance floor.
Donald Trump said he may run for president after surveying
the current field of candidates. Here's a better idea. Place the
United States in trusteeship, and Tony Blair can manage our
affairs until the baby boom produces a responsible adult.
Democratic U.S. Congressman Jack Murtha said Monday he
doesn't believe anybody should enlist in the military and that the
war in Iraq was a mistake. Jack Murtha is a principled anti-war
Democrat. He could cost Lyndon Johnson his re-election.
Joint Chiefs Chairman Gen. Peter Pace last week took a
delegation of entertainers to Iraq to do a holiday show. The
headliner was a runner-up on American Idol. Vietnam veterans can
only shake their heads and be grateful they were never
disrespected this badly.
Washington D.C.'s former mayor Marion Berry was robbed at
gunpoint Monday in his apartment. He said he paid kids to carry in
his groceries, then they robbed him. Jack Abramoff wasn't kidding
when he told the judge that he mentored inner city youth.
Capitol Hill was rocked Tuesday when super-lobbyist Jack Abramoff confessed to bribing U.S. congressmen to secure casino licenses for Indian tribes. How much money is involved? Bill Gates would never have wasted his time writing software in his garage if he had known that someday Congress would be issuing casino licenses.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2006, Argus Hamilton