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Nov. 20, 2009
Rabbi David Aaron: How to make every second of your life come first
Caroline B. Glick: Whither American Jewry
Nov. 19, 2009
Binyamin L. Jolkovsky: Please Listen to this Godcast (5 minutes)
Jonathan Tobin: ADL Crosses the Line with Report Bashing Obama Critics
Nov. 18, 2009
Rabbi Yonason Goldson: What Judaism has to say about the secret of the Mona Lisa's smile
JWisdom.com: The (Jewish) Dating Game with Rabbi Lawrence Hajioff (8 minutes)
Nov. 17, 2009
Steven Emerson: How Does the 4th Amendment Impact Terror Finance Investigations?
JWisdom.com: If Frank Sinatra married Edith Piaf with Rabbi Y.Y. Rubinstein (2 minutes) Life lessons from what would be regarded as the most inappropriate lyrics ever sung
Nov. 16, 2009
The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir : When borrowing is stealing
JWisdom.com: Deconstructing faith with Rabbi Warren Goldstein (9 minutes)
Nov. 13, 2009
JWisdom.com Sarah's subjective reality with Rabbi Sroy Levitansky ( 6 minutes)
Caroline B. Glick: Obama's failure, Netanyahu's opportunity
Nov. 12, 2009
The Kosher Gourmet By Marialisa Calta : A sweet sweet potato treat
JWisdom.com Does God get tired? with Rabbi Harvey Belovski ( 5 minutes)
Nov. 11, 2009
Rabbi Avi Shafran: Jews and money: When anti-Semitism isn't
JWisdom.com Marriages are not made in Heaven with Rabbi Lawrence Hajioff (VERY fast 15 minutes)
Nov. 10, 2009
Michael Doyle: Author of book exposing CAIR ordered to remove supporting documents from Web
JWisdom.com If the creation so loudly shouts the existence of the Creator, why aren't more people believers? with Rabbi Naftali Brawer (9 minutes)
Nov. 9, 2009
Mark Steyn: Shooter exposes hole in U.S. terror strategy
JWisdom.com It's never too late to have a happy childhood with Sarah Chana Radcliffe (5 minutes)
Nov. 6, 2009
Rabbi Berel Wein: Choosing to hear
JWisdom.com Zero to 1/60th: How to Empower An Hour with Gavriel Aryeh Sande (7 minutes)
Caroline B. Glick The mullahs' big week
Suzanne Fields A Fallen Wall for Fallen Man
Nov. 5, 2009
The Kosher Gourmet: Three scrumptious -- but simple -- butternut squash dishes
JWisdom.com Hidden Hints: Unlocking Faith & Prayer with Rabbi Jay Yaacov Schwartz (10 minutes)
Nov. 4, 2009
Tom Hamburger and Kim Geiger: Should prayers be covered?
JWisdom.com When God played peacemaker With Rabbi Sroy Levitansky (5 minutes)
Nov. 3, 2009
Martin Peretz: Beware, Barack. Beware, Rahm. Beware, Axelrod
JWisdom.com Are you are closet idolater? With Sara Yoheved Rigler (10 minutes)
Nov. 2, 2009
Paul Greenberg: The Holocaust is now on Facebook
JWisdom.com Abraham's Strange Change With Rabbi Yitzchok Fingerer (5 minutes)
Oct. 29, 2003
Mortimer B. Zuckerman: Graffiti On History's Walls (MUST-READ!)

Jewish World Review Jan. 10, 2005 / 29 Teves, 5765

Parents on Strike

By Ruben Navarrette Jr.


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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Many Americans are confronting their greatest challenge. It's not making a living, making a career for themselves, or making a difference in the world.


It's parenthood.


Hollywood has picked up the cue. In one current release, "Spanglish,'' the characters struggle with parenting challenges across the cultural divide. In a forthcoming Vin Diesel movie, "The Pacifier," the muscular protagonist isn't battling bad guys. He's baby-sitting.


In researching the role, Diesel could have gotten some advice from real-life parents who, at wit's end, had to go to extreme lengths to control their unruly children.


For a lesson about what not to do, there is the woeful example of Cat and Harlan Barnard of Deltona, Fla. Having run out of ideas about how to get their two children to help with household chores, the Barnards recently went "on strike.'' They moved out of the house and pitched a tent on the front lawn until the kids changed their freeloading ways.


It has come to this. Parents who come from a generation that 15 years ago placed "Baby on Board'' stickers on their cars are now holding picket signs that read, "Parents on Strike'' and "Seeking Cooperation and Respect.''


Cat Barnard said she and her husband had tried every flavor of psychology imaginable. They offered rewards. They withheld allowances. They promised. They threatened. Nothing worked.


The poor things. They should have tried being better parents — and done it early enough in their children's lives so that it made an impact. I hear it from good parents all the time: Lay down the rules to your kids when they're 5 or pay the price when they're 15. A couple I know requires their two daughters, both in elementary school, to do their own laundry, change their own sheets and wash their own dishes.


There was a time when such a thing wouldn't have been considered so extraordinary. Unfortunately today, with housekeepers so common, it is. Maybe I'm being unfair. Maybe the Barnards are perfectly fine parents, but, somewhere along the line, they obviously failed at one part of the job that is pretty important: instilling a sense of discipline and obedience in their children. We're talking about a 12-year-old and a 17-year-old. Either age is old enough for one to know the difference between a home and a hotel, and to long ago have been disabused of the notion that they could skate through childhood and adolescence without taking out the garbage, picking up a broom or mowing the lawn.

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And why are the parents in exile, while their lazy offspring sleep warm and cozy in their own beds? If anyone should have relocated to the front yard, it's the kids. Or maybe something less severe would have done the trick. Consider the wonderful story of the father in Pasadena, Texas. Fed up with three misbehaving sons, ages 9, 11 and 15, he sold their Christmas presents on eBay.


The father, who refused to identify himself to reporters, said that he and his wife had warned the lads several times to shape up or watch the toys be shipped out. Apparently, the little ones are quite spirited — fighting with each other, using obscene language and the like. At one point, the oldest went so far as to dare his parents to make good on their threat to sell the gifts.


They did. The final touch was when the parents called the naughty boys to a family meeting and showed them what they wouldn't be getting for Christmas: three Nintendo DS video game systems, each loaded with a video game. Those are some pretty nice gifts — and because of this father's resolve, they will go to needy families in the Houston area. GoldenPalace.com, an online casino based in Antigua, paid more than $5,000 for the three systems and will give them away.


The father, who intends to donate the money to his church, has said that he feels rotten that this had to happen. He shouldn't. He did the right thing. Would that more parents were willing to be the household heavy now and then to instill in their children a notion of right and wrong.


So often these days, parents are taught to accept their children as they are. What these stories remind us is that parents have a responsibility to do something much more important: teach their children what is — and isn't — acceptable.

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