In this issue
April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review Jan. 14, 2004 / 20 Teves, 5764

‘Middle-aged dummy’ wants to hold a job; divorcée won't accept responsibility; kids hope their divorced parents would grow-up

By Wendy Belzberg

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http://www.jewishworldreview.com | Q: I am 44 years old, and I have never been able to hold a job for more than two weeks. I have tried doing more things than I could ever list; my resume is more than 37 pages long. Therapy is a joke: All any therapist wants to hear about is how much I hate my parents — which I do not. I don't want handouts; I want to work for my meals and a roof over my head. I am running out of employers who will hire a middle-aged dummy. I don't know where to turn or what to do.

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A: You have taken the first step: You have acknowledged that you are the common denominator. This takes a lot of self-awareness and courage and immediately precludes the possibility that you are truly a dummy. You may indeed have a limited attention span, a limited skill set or limited social skills. You are also probably so far down the path of self-fulfilling prophecy that there is no reason even to apply for a new job until you are closer to understanding why you are determined to fail.

Saying that therapy is a joke is the equivalent of saying that all food tastes the same. There are as many brands of therapy as there are varieties of restaurant. I recommend seeing an expert in behavior modification: someone who can help you get past the first two weeks of a new job without sabotaging yourself; someone who can help talk you through strategies for how to avoid repeating past behaviors. If employers are willing to hire you — and with a 37-page resume they clearly are — they can't all be wrong.

Q: A friend of mine is going through her second divorce. Every time I start a conversation about how to avoid a third divorce she blames her problems on her parents' failed marriage and on her childhood. Short of taking her by the shoulders and shaking her silly, is there an appropriate response?

A: No doubt your friend was profoundly affected by her childhood — as children have a habit of being — and by her parents' failed marriage. If she is old enough to have two divorces under her belt, one would hope that she is old enough to assume responsibility for her own choices — and her own mistakes. That reckoning, however, has nothing to do with age. Some people never learn to stop blaming others for the mistakes they themselves have made. Your best bet is to begin by sympathizing with your friend. Ultimately you will need to nudge her toward the realization that she, and she alone, is in charge of her own destiny. If you fail in that mission, take comfort in knowing that your friend has many kindred spirits in the world.

Q: My parents were divorced more than 13 years ago, and both are happily remarried. Their divorce was bitter, and they never saw or spoke to each other after it was finalized. My brother and I would like them to make peace so that we can celebrate our family occasions in the presence of both of our parents. Is it fair of us to ask them to kiss and make up?

A: It doesn't matter how old you and your brother are, the phrase "for the sake of the children" still applies — perhaps more now than ever. If both of your parents are in fact happily remarried to other people, it is more than reasonable for you to ask them to leave their bitter past behind. No one is suggesting that they become best friends — or vacation together. Expecting them to kiss and make up may even be a stretch. However, it is perfectly reasonable to ask — if not insist — that they mellow, mature and move on, momentarily. You may need to remind them that they are the grown-ups and you are the children, and that it is time for them to start acting their ages — and assuming their joint parental roles.

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