Home
In this issue
April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review Jan. 6, 2004 / 12 Teves, 5764

Putting up with abusive wife; father's request: son not attend his funeral; when to bill a buddy

By Wendy Belzberg

Printer Friendly Version

Email this article


http://www.jewishworldreview.com | Q: I usually wash the dishes after dinner. Two nights ago I was doing homework with our daughter and I fell asleep. My wife, who doesn't work, called me at work the following day to say the four dishes from dinner would be waiting for me when I got home. Sure enough, four dishes with scraps were sitting on the kitchen table when I returned from work.

Donate to JWR


A: I don't know what the question is, but here's my answer: Get a divorce. But perhaps I'm being too harsh. First, put your foot down. Hard. If your wife didn't believe she could get away with such idiotic and abusive behavior she wouldn't think of trying. Did you do the dishes or are they still sitting there? (I rest my case). This kind of dynamic doesn't work for anyone, but it's most unattractive in front of a child, who presumably has something to learn about relationships. Get counseling. Get tough. Or get out.

Q: My friend's father just passed away. Though they did not have a good relationship, my friend planned to go to the funeral. He found out today that his father requested that he not attend. My friend is obviously confused and upset and not sure what he should do. Should he go anyway or should he respect his late father's wish?


A: Funerals are for the living, not for the dead. There is no way to know his father's state of mind when he requested that his son not attend his funeral. One thing is clear, the request is both hostile and hurtful — and it worked. Unless your friend's presence will make other family members uncomfortable, he should not think twice about attending. The father is dead and his son is left behind to grieve, and to make sense of their relationship. The funeral seems like a good place to start. And if this isn't an endorsement for addressing unresolved feelings and relationships in this lifetime, I don't know what is.

Q: A close friend asked me to help her out on one of her work-related projects. She cannot afford my day wage and I would be willing to help out based simply on our friendship. I assume she will charge it back to her client. Is it tacky for me to charge my friend for help she's asked for?


A: Is she or isn't she charging your time back to her client? That seems to be the key question here. (If you had asked her — and not me — you might already know the answer to your query.) If she is, then this is strictly a business relationship and your friend is your employer. You should have no second thoughts about asking for your regular rate — and accepting whatever the client is prepared to pay. Even if your friend is not charging her client for your time, your time and your assistance is no less valuable. Why not request payment in the form of dinner or a movie? I don't care how close the friendship; whenever money enters into the equation there is the possibility for misunderstanding. Be as upfront about this as possible.

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in Washington and in the media consider "must reading." Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.




Ask Wendy a question — almost any question — by clicking here.

Ask Wendy Archives



© 2004, Wendy Belzberg